I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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