Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
