i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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