So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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