I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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