Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
