Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dick very happy bro
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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