i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
