Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
