listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
