was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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