hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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