she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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