I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
