What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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