she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
