She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
