this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
