It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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