I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
