thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
