I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
