Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
