they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
