we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
