sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
