She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize