Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
