he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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