I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
