when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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