That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize