Do you still have your period?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
