if you like me you must not know who I am
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How does it feel to date your dad?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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