i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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