So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
