Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You made out with two different species that night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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