Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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