I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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