My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
