He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
