And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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