ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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