Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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