Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just tell him i said nine months
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
