the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
