Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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