please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
