youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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