you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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