That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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