Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize