Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
