Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
