he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
